Happy Birthday, Sign of Peace

According to the Washington Compost, it looks like the Peace Sign turns a half-century old today.

Stupid me, all this time I thought the kids were just drawing chasubles upside down because they had been smoking too much dope. I know about the two-fingered peace sign that the pony-tailed boomers like to shoot me here at the home, and of course, I return the favor with one less digit before I tell them to get the hell off my lawn.

I guess the Papists started adding the "Sign of Peace" to the "Nervous Ordeal" Mass about the time the hippies started peeing on my American Beauties. Nothing like a little birdshot to restore the peace in my neighborhood, "man."

Now, at the Blessed Reformer, we only use Page By God Fifteen, and we don't do any of that "Sign of Peace" COW crap. However, as I'm becoming soft in my golden years, I'm going to throw my parishioners a bone. In honor of this great occasion, I'm including a bulletin insert for this Sunday's service, a litany like the Creative Communications for the Perishing pinkos put out and try to sell me. Cripes, these people are worse than AMWAY once they get your address.

Of course, my little "peace litany" is from one of the greatest uplifting movies of all time: FMJ. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it. When those guys start singing the Mickey Mouse song at the end, I have to admit that even I reach for the roll of toilet paper.


Litany of Peace

Pogue Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Where'd you get it?
Private Joker: I don't remember, sir.
Pogue Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet?
Private Joker: "Born to Kill", sir.
Pogue Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?
Private Joker: No, sir.
Pogue Colonel: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant s*** on you.
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
Private Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
Pogue Colonel: The what?
Private Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?
Private Joker: Our side, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Don't you love your country?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
Private Joker: Aye-aye, sir.