The Ideal Ablaze!(tm) Preacher

"Programs rather than sermons..."

Martin Jehnichen

Armin Pra tries to bring locals to the church by offering helpful programs rather than sermons.

Troops, this is from an actual Kraut article. Hell, at least they describe their gimmicks as "programs" instead of as "movements." You know something's wrong when the Hun is more honest than you are.

All in all, it sounds like Wittenberg is as FUBAR as St. Louis. Well, at least you can get a real beer there to numb the pain instead of that Butt Lite they sell in Loonieland. Just make sure the last Lutherans in the EKD and in the LCMS are kind enough to turn the lights off when they leave. I'm on a fixed income.

History of the LCMS in 30 Seconds

Whiskey Tango... ?

... a Special Report from a General Scuttlebutt reader (and now Special Correspondent for SNS - Scuttlebutt News Service), Pastor X:

Every month, when I receive my copy of the LCMS Reporter "newspaper", I become uneasy. Usually, it's simply because of the colossal waste of funds that are spent in its printing and sending. I end up spending five minutes glancing through it and throwing it away. This time, however, the following job posting caught my attention:

The LCMS Northwest District and several Northwestern synods of the ELCA seek to fill the position of Director of Consultation to Clergy.

I was confused, was this multiple positions or one position? After visiting the website listed in the posting, www.consultationtoclergy.com, I learned that this position is serving in an organization called, not surprisingly, "Consultation to Clergy," described as "a pastoral care service of the Northwest District of the LCMS and the Akaska, Eastern Washington, etc...synods of the ELCA.

Not all that surprising, I know. Joint synodical efforts are good for public relations, if nothing else. Still, when I read the rest of the job posting, it was interesting to note that I wanted more information, I should "contact Rev. Penelope Guntermann."

A female "pastor" in the want ads of the LCMS newspaper. No one will notice anway, right? Perhaps not. But it should be noted, our friend Rev. Penelope has her signature on a "Faith-Based Statement in Support of Homosexual Marriage" on the site of a liberal Baptist church in Seattle, Washington.

General, move over for Preacher Babes and their girlfriends!

[Thanks a helluva lot Pastor X for making me feel like that poor little old drunken pumpkin in the picture. The last image I need on my mind is the juxtaposition of "ELCA pastor" and "position." I believe that's what the kids call a bad case of "TMI." It's always "trick or treat" in the LCMess. Our leadership "turns tricks" while we "treat ourselves" to a drunken stupor. Where the hell are those RIM guys now that I need them to "lay hands" on my liver? And what the you-know-what have these pimps and rednecks done with my Grandfather's Church? Just asking... - PGTS]