McLame's Secret Blog

Well, well, troops. It looks to me like Richard McLame is running a blog under a pseudonym!

And he's using a broad's name to do it. Crap, this thing is basically SlobberBrethren(tm) with slightly less venom. The stuff about the papists is what gave it away for me.

Whatever CPH is paying this knob, it's too much.

Who are they?

Click picture to enlarge

Troops, I've been a little slack in keeping up with synodical politics. Is this group the:

Council of Presidents
Board of Directors
Commission on Constitutional Matters
Board for Communications Services
Board for Higher Education
Board for Pastoral Education
Commission on Worship "100 Song Study"
Friends of Paul McCain (the smart ones)
The line-up of speakers at the next Walther Conference
Daystar
Jerry Kieschnick's personal staff
The incoming SMP class ?

Electile Dysfunction

An unidentified District President enjoying an election

Cally wrote: "This will come in handy this year for all of the upcoming district conventions. (General, I know you're saddened that you'll miss that while out to sea.)"

Boo hoo. Ha!

Troops, I have a "doctor's excuse." Church conventions are like erections - if they last more than four hours, see your doctor, or else you could go blind. I know guys who were so desperate that they were drinking the fuel from the Sterno cans in the banquet rooms just to kill the pain.

Me, I'm always prepared - which is what I learned in the Scouts. And if they had a merit badge for finding ways to smuggle in hooch, I'd a had that one.

So no, I will not be at this or any convention. And you young fellas that have to go, you need to drink. If you're smart, you will being your own in a hip flask, thermos, or (Lord, have mercy) one of those homo Starbuck cups. Be prepared, troops, or else you may have to resort to busting into the hotel maintenance closet and downing paint thinner. And there is one silver lining in having the broads on the convention floor - you can always find a bottle of nail polish remover to "huff." Some of the hippies were doing that back in the Seminex days.

Be innocent as serpents and wise as doves, however that goes. And remember, Vodka looks like water.

Richard McCain?

I'm confused, troops. The election had me in a tizzy, because everyone was talking about voting for "McCain" for president. I thought: "Has the entire synod lost its friggin' mind?" But then someone said I was confusing "John" McCain with "Paul" McCain.

But just when I think I got them straight, now I'm hearing about this "Richard" McCain. Who the hell is this?

Is this John, Paul, or a third guy? I mean, I have gotten a barrage of mail from people referring to "that Dick McCain."

Well, anyway, someone sent me the above picture of this "Richard" McCain and the new tattoo on his head. At least the kid is wearing a tie, making it clear that he is not a pastor. Now if I can just figure out what the guy's real name is. And what is with that little white flag behind his chair? Is that for surrender, or is it some kind of new CPH piece of crap made in China to make Lutherans look retarded?

But anyway, I digest. I got bigger fish to fly and all that. But I do think McLame is going to regret the tattoo some day. I like mine just fine, but I think these kids that ink up their heads and necks are crazy. But I guess that's how a fella gets a job at CPH these days.