This is definitely not your (Nicene) Fathers' church...Board Briefs April 2007.pdf (application/pdf Object)
Board to COS:
‘Your Help, Please’
Since early in 2005 when the Board of Directors began considering appointments to vacant positions on the boards of directors of the Synod and of Concordia Publishing House, a majority of the
members of the Board were not entirely satisfied with the list of names provided for its consideration by the nominating committee as provided by Bylaw 3.2.5.
A series of unsuccessful appeals to the nominating committee followed, asking it to reconsider the list it was providing by giving greater attention to the process provided by Bylaw 3.2.5 (a) and specifically
those names placed into nomination by “the board or commission where the vacancy occurs” and “the slate of candidates from the previous convention of the Synod.”
At its August 2005 meeting, when the Board was again considering appointments to the board vacancies, nominations “from the floor” added names to the slates of candidates provided by the nominating committee before elections were conducted. This action was supported by referring to statements in Robert’s Rules of Order and to the process required of the Synod’s conventions for its elections.
This decision of the Board was questioned and the Commission on Constitutional Matters was asked whether the August 2005 elections were in violation of Bylaw 3.2.5 because of the floor nominations that were allowed. The commission responded that the Board of Directors is
required to fill those vacancies of boards and commissions for which it is responsible from the list provided by the nominations committee.
Some members of the Board, believing that the commission did not properly distinguish between the terms “nominee” and “candidate” as they are used in Bylaw 3.2.5, favored submitting an overture to the convention to clarify the bylaw and the issue of floor nominations, contending that the Board of Directors of the Synod has been deprived of a basic parliamentary right and responsibility.
When an overture that included a resolve “to assure the right of an appointing board under Bylaw 3.2.5 to add names to the slate of candidates of the nominations committee from the names submitted by the designated process” was discussed at the Board’s February 2007 meeting, a motion “to postpone action until the Commission on Structure meets and the Board hears from them” was adopted.
With this action, the Board looks to the commission to propose a remedy to the 2007 convention that will clarify Bylaw 3.2.5 and the nominations process to be used for filling vacancies in elected positions between conventions. ■
Does anybody have a clue what the hell this is talking about? The Microsoft "blue screen of death" isn't near this cryptic. And some guys can't stomach Hebrew! If you do understand this crap, please don't post to my blog and explain it. I simply do not care. I'm too old. Instead, get a damn job with IBM or the Hillary Clinton campaign and just get the hell out of my life. And tell your punk kids to get off my lawn while you're at it.
Can you just imagine if one of the self-important bureaucracies of the LCMS had written the Nicene Creed? Hell, Sunday Mass would sound like we were reading a page out of the IRS code. You'll have an easier time finding Waldo in one of those retarded kids' books than you'll find Jesus in any of these boards and committees. Jesus? Who's He? Of course, some synodical suit is just liable to say: "Hay-Soose? Isn't he on the Missions Board?" John 11:35.
Anyway, my old fart opinion is that those that live by corporate bureaucracy and red tape will die by corporate bureaucracy and red tape. I think that's in the Bible (or was it the frigging LCMS bylaws, they seem to carry more clout these days...).
Oh, why do I read this crap in the Reporter? Why? Why? WHY? It only inflames my spleen and leads me to drink. Kyrie eleison and pass the Jack. And the Concordia Plan had better not welch on my future liver transplant.
Biby-ji:
ReplyDeleteGlad to see the Indians posting to the old blog. Sorry about that General Custer business (the long-haired dolt got what he deserved). Damn fine shooting by your people at Little Big Horn.
Also surprised to see the Cleveland Indians in first place. Jesus must be coming back soon.
Anyway, I think I'll wake Blanche (the trouble-and-strife)up and have her whip me up a nice chicken curry or some lamb bhoona.
Namaste, chief!
Sigh.... Unfortunately for me and my continuing peace of mind, I find that I DO understand it. But then, I was a member of the BOD back in 2005, and so I, along with the other BOD members, was given one of the cool magic decoder rings, along with my name badge and key card for the IC. You didn't know about the decoder rings?
ReplyDeleteAs you have discerned, BOD minutes are virtually impossible to decipher, even for those who attend the meetings. The minutes are written in a new variant form of corporate-speak, with the added dimension of the cult of secrecy that exists in the IC today, making it no longer plain English, but a new, and so-far unbreakable, cipher. There are even different decoder rings for each board and commission, so that documents can be interpreted in different ways depending upon which ring you've been given! Without the right decoder ring, I'm sorry to say, you don't stand a chance.
Those WWII Navajo Code Talkers got nothing on the LMCS!
Great blog!
Geula:
ReplyDeleteI think the decoder rings used by these pencil-necked suits are made out of mushrooms. If the BOD members are demographically like the new wave of residents at the retirement home, they're what they call "baby boomers." These are the ones who fried out their brain cells in the sixties.
I'm sure all this BS makes sense to others of their ilk, but to my generation it makes about as much sense as Puff the Magic Dragon and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
Sometimes I wonder if the whole leadership of the LCMS is on dope.
And those Navajo guys are really something. They can make more pops and clicks than a drunken parrot. They made a movie about one of them who thinks a Coke bottle is a god. It sounds like the next great program from the synodical brain drain after Ablaze!(tm) goes up in smoke: "The Bureaucrats Must Be Crazy!".
I never did understand the St. Louis folks - even before the guy with the bling-bling and televangelist haircut started jamming mission statements down everyone's cakehole.
A comment in response to the above post where comments are deactivated... referencing "transcendental medication".
ReplyDeleteI was going to make a comment about Single Malt Scotch. But then in this post you mention you prefer Jack 'bourbon'.
Either prescription probably won't help us "understand this crap", but it might numb the nausea for a bit.
Lawrence:
ReplyDeleteI don't know how comments got shut off - maybe it had something to do with my "meds." Anyway, I fixed it. You're right, soldier, "numbing the nausea" is always a good thing. In fact, "numbing the nausea" oughtta be one of those synodical programs, like "fanning the flame."
And like I always say, the only answer to nausea is more nausea, so drink up.
"Does anybody have a clue what the hell this is talking about?"
ReplyDeleteNow that the bourbon has cleared my thinking. Or maybe my thinking as cleared form the bourbon.. hmm..
Anyway...
I think it means that someone incorrectly nominated candidates to the election and this makes the election suspect, if not invalid.
But for some reason, appeals to clarify whatever the problem is were unsuccessful.
So, since it would be to cumbersome to undo the last election, we need to clarify the rules so we don't make the same mistake in the next election.
My point:
Anything that really needs said can usually be said in about 3 sentences. Otherwise, there's a lot being said that just doesn't need to be said. And that's all I have to say about that.
General, Some years ago I stumbled upon a game called "BS" bingo. Basically one made up bingo like cards with random arrangements of corporate buzz words. Then during a meeting you would cross off the words uttered by the corporate suit running the meeting. When you got the required number of words in a column you would jump up and yell, "BS". Maybe we could come up with a similar Ablaze(tm) card for the boring conventions, pastors conferences, winkels and the like. We could put the latest mission buzz words and when we got a column filled we could stand up and yell, "Ablaze(tm)" (Which really is pretty much BS anyway)
ReplyDeleteXtorim:
ReplyDelete(How do you say that anyway?)
Yeah, we played a version of BS Bingo in the Army. The Missouri Synod is the only other institution I ever belonged to that was a FUBAR as the Army.
I think we could make a million bucks or two selling these ecclesiastical BS game boards for use by the troops. It would make conventions fun again.
Just make them waterproof so I don't spill my martini on them when I'm at a floor committee hearing.
General its zee tor eeem an ancient Indian word roughly translated, "One who has a strong desire to take a leak in the suit's drink when they aren't looking." Actually I just made it up when I got into this internet stuff.
ReplyDelete