Life is good...

Well, troops, I know I'm not posting too much these days. Life is too good. This floating "nursing home" is just the thing, and I have to admit, I'm finding it hard to give a flying shi'ite about the LCMS when I'm taking day trips to the Galapagos and watching the sun set with a cool breeze and a cooler beverage.

But then again, the iguanas here are ugly and and have been used to try to sell the theory of evolution - much like the ape-like antics of the LCMS 'crat class. At least the iguanas here only eat vegetation and not one another - unlike the dinosaurs in the Pusilanimous Palace(tm). So I am being reminded of our B.S. (that's "beloved synod" for you knuckleheads).

But I did get a lot of requests to "come on board" and I did enjoy getting fan-mail. Shit, everyone thinks I'm funny, but I gotta tell ya, I about choked on my "George and Jack" just reading the inbox. There are a "few good men" left in the outhouse that has become Missouri.

Oh, and sorry about saying the word "shit" - I know there are ladies present. But given that this is a private club and all, I figure we can loosen our collars and/or ties a bit. Besides, "shit" is in the old King James Bible. Or is it "piss." One of 'em anyway. I'm too comfortable to hoof for my concordance, and my waiter is already off fetching me a frozen margie. And before I get any crap about that, the doc says I need them to keep my sodium count good and high, so back off on the queer jokes. Besides, the secret to a good margarita is like the secret to a good Mass: plenty of "spike" as my friends, the last straight Anglican priests, like to say.

But enough about me, let's hear what you all have to say about me. Here's a sample of some of your comments...

• I love how your blog satirizes all of the political/bureaucratic baloney and "church growth" b.s. in the LCMS. Keep it up!

• Get your rear in gear and quit your moping about. Next thing you know, you'll be demanding that Concordia Health Plan increase your benefits for scotch, cigs, and pills. Guess all us 30-somethings will be signed up for Plan P (as in Piss off!) to pay for your "cruise." Better tell "Vicar Billy" to plan for indentured servitude: either that or enroll in SMP before it's too late. Now do your duty and sound off like you still have a pair! Winsomely yours and blessings,

• Fred just went "Tango Uniform." Now you to? How am I too keep my sanity? Whoever you really are, I enjoy the blog. I love the irreverent humor and non-political correctness. I am considering becoming a teacher in the LCMess and your blog gives me incite regarding how the pencil pushers and 'crats make things work. I need this stuff to know how to piss them off and get their undies in a bundle when I take the helm. Consider the blog as your way to train this irreverent, ornery, Lutheran Convert young man for your post-humerous revendge against the ministerium of the LCMS. At any rate, thanks for all of your posts. I am no doubt a different person for having read them. Seriously. You tought me that Lutherans don't have to be nice. Growing up in evangelicalism and Calvinism, I was tought always to be nice, never to judge- only to pray that Jesus would make the other person see the light. You have corrupted my young mind and sickened my sense of humor. This is a God thing ("sin boldly.")

• Sir, it would be a shame to let your blog go "Tango Uniform". As a retired military man and "old school" LCMSer myself, I get a refreshing boost of humor when reading your blog. If your current health issues preclude this, then I thank you for your service, ask you to check-in to your nearest VA cemetary, and let your grandson take over the blog.

• Please do not stop posting. I really enjoy your website. So few people in the LCMS are willing to tell the truth, and so many confessionals want to be virtuous lots more than they want to succeed (or is that secede?) in the Synod. Many thanks for all you have written so far, and I would like to encourage you to continue with your work. With this Obamanation thing happening to all of us for the next four-eight years, I'm going to need some laughs.

• I'm not exactly sure how I found your blog site. But may I say that I have never laughed so hard since eighth grade music class sitting next to the two class clowns. I used to come out of that last hour with an aching gut, just like when I'm reading your site. I'm also an LCMS guy whose been in the shooting wars. Really, your stuff is quite good! And I've passed your link and URL on to others.

• I don't mean any disrespect, but leave is over. Get back to work soldier...uh...Genreal, sir.

• General: This old squid enjoys your blog and I hope you keep it going. And don't get rid of your 74 Matador or give it to any Vicars. I had a 79 AMC Spirit for 10 years - and sorry I got rid of it.

• Ok Vicar Billy. Where did you put the General Scuttlebutt blog? Can’t say that I always understood what the old man was saying, but he sure did say it in an entertaining way.
  

• by all means pops, keep the blog rolling! it is a great chance to light up a cigar, drink some gin, and soil myself from laughing sohard. i'm depends-ing on you!

• You won £750,000. Please acknowledge the receipt of this mail with the details below toMr.Micchael Williams

[Now that's more like it troops - CFWS]

• Please don't stop. I am house bound and the best blogs are my life line. Yours is at the top of the list.

• I meet the requirements, I'm not any of these; synodocrats, wieners, whiners, pietists, or other pond scum. (although hot dogs are my favorite food...your call)I'm just a new Lutheran who finds you and my Pastor seem to have the same sense of humor.But I'm not doing push-ups...old fat guys are better at beer and cigarettes.

• Please add me to your list! I am certainly none of these (synodocrats, wieners, whiners, pietists, or other pond scum). I miss reading your stuff while sipping on bourbon. Thanks to you I have learned not to spit it out on my screen while laughing.
• Please do continue your commentaries. Lutherquest can be hard enough to read without thinking about the good Vicar huffing Toluene while doing so. I would be honored to be included should you decide to dole out access.
• I enjoyed your honest and crass approach to the "happenings" (read: heterodoxy and bull-crap) in our sinking ship Missouri.
• Hey, you old coot! Is all the shrapnel in your padded posterior from those exploding beer cans causing you to get feeble in you old age?

Damn, you people sure are rough on the elderly. Cripes, who the hell am I going to invite when I turn the big One Zero Zero? And just because I've been around a while, don't assume I'm using Depends, Viagra, or the Concordia Pulpit Resources. I may be old, but I'm not feeble. I can still kick your ass, and would, if the bar would stop spinning.

And at least we can still smoke in international waters. You "high church" types would love how I pack my thurible with crushed up Cohibas. I know Jesus smokes Cubans, because so many of them are named after Him. But that's another rant for another day.